OH BEAUTY!

Let’s all agree that some females arrive on earth looking better than others. When perky pointed noses and wide oval eyes were being handed out, some of us got in another line where the bigger, rounded buttocks and larger sized ears were being circulated. I don’t think the intention was for us not to be worthy of love, adoration and attention, but that God just wanted some variety. Simply observe the rest of creation where there are big mountains, little hills, great oceans, tiny ponds, roses and cacti.

Fellow women of the world unite! Starting today let’s stop competing with the movie stars, celebrities, models, and perceived-beauties of the world. The reality is, those of us who attempt to make ourselves look as good as those famous people won’t ever really catch up. No matter what we do to enhance our appearances, these fashionable icons will be a step ahead in the beauty game. Every time I think I’ve reached a fairly equal-look with my peer group, there is another product, service or process on the market.

I give up! They win! I say, get rid of the hair dye and Botox! Let’s throw our lash lengthening mascara wands high into the air in surrender and celebration of a new freedom. Together we can boycott the face-lifting, boob-implanting plastic surgeon’s offices and refuse to change lipstick colors each season. Let’s exercise to stay healthy and feel good, not to become hard-body muscular robots. I, for one, am willing to put away the multitude of uplifting face creams, eyebrow enhancers, and lip plumpers.

Even you earth mothers can join the movement. Oh, I know you have a cache of lavender and rose hip scented shampoos and conditioners. I’ve seen you pinch your cheeks a hundred times to get the rosy blush effect and then apply lightly tented lip gloss. Yes, ladies, throw those wooden handled, natural bristle hairbrushes in the recycled trash can and support this worthy cause.

Reminiscent of the bra-burning events of the 1960’s, we can hold community bon fire sessions to destroy lipsticks and facial masques. What a blaze these petrochemicals will make! Events could be held in conjunction with holidays so they can serve a dual function. We can have receptacles placed in strategic public locations for blushes and eye shadows, which can be recycled for school art department projects. At airports, in addition to having bins for dangerous sharp objects, there can be receptacles for collecting compact powders and eyelash curlers.

I accept that none of this will actually happen. Sadly, I will keep participating in the styling, coloring, skin-smoothing, body-changing rituals so I won’t scare myself when looking in mirrors.

However, I stand by my opinion that exchanging the same effort, time, and money it takes to “get gorgeous” in trade for something worthwhile, like feeding needy children or saving whales, seems like a grand idea and I suspect the Creator thinks the same.